by Steven W. Rouach
Famed alcohol-taste-tester Matt Gaetz, like so many other Bond villains, is about to plummet right into the volcano he himself created.
Here’s a candid and un-doctored photo of me when I first learned Matt Gaetz is in -what legal experts are calling - SERIOUS TROUBLE.
See how happy I was? Look at the glee emanating off me. It felt like if The Beatles, Chocolate, and Pot all had a baby together and then gave it to me to raise as my own.
Then… I heard the details of the allegations and the fun was…
It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I, as a Jewish man, remember hearing about it one day at the Kosher butcher on East 3rd and Avenue U, from Rabbi Lenny Kravitz. Here’s that exchange.
“Did you hear? Chaim launched a Space Laser! Shlomo helped him! Then, they went to Katz’s delicatessen but it’s NOT like it used to be! I thought you should know this! Also, my new album will be released in September followed by a tour! Now, I’m off to have a bagel with a shmear and play some guitar!” — Rabbi Lenny Kravitz.
Pictured: Truth in advertising.
For clarity and journalistic accuracy, I want this article to be completely fair and unbiased. — So, Marjorie Taylor Greene happened when, after one too many drinks, Lunacy and Madness had unnatural sex together in an abandoned carnival funhouse and tragedy ensued.
She is a lunatic. A madwoman.
(Question) — Do YOU Think Marjorie Taylor Greene Is Sane?
1) No, because I’m a sensible person, and also, I know who she is. 2) Yes, she is very sane just like I am whenever I’m not compulsively stabbing everyone I see with a pair of sharp scissors…
There was a time when Mike Lindell, the CEO of MyPillow, had a great opportunity. He had an opportunity to shave off his ridiculous Harry-Reems 1970's porn mustache so he could look slightly less like a douche and/or Dr. Phil wearing a Sonny Bono wig.
Oh, and he also had ANOTHER opportunity.
He could have invested his time, money, and efforts to stop ripping off MyPillow customers with his…
Lauren Boebert — took time away from her busy schedule of procuring PCP, pouring it over Cheerios into a large bowl, and then completely submerging her head into that bowl, to discuss starting her own tour company in consultation with the voices in her head, which, according to various reports, all sound exactly like Gilbert Gottfried.
For clarity, Boebert is the author of the books; “Winning Through Insanity”, the thought-provoking “The Bible Warned You Guys About Me, Specifically!” & her inspiring self-help novel, “I Can’t Believe No One Has Stopped Me Yet”. Boebert is also the subject of Kim Carnes’…
*(All Images Created by Author)
So, here we are. It’s time again for Rudy Giuliani to rise, suddenly to our surprise, and do The Monster Mash. (*Ed Note: It was a graveyard smash).
After his illustrious and well-thought-out press conference at “The Four Seasons… Landscaping Company”, (voted; Pennsylvania’s #1 landscaping attraction that shares a name with an iconic hotel) Rudy Giuliani did not rest on his Laurels!*
*(Stan and Martha Laurel, a local couple captured and abducted by Giuliani for feeding and sitting purposes, who have since escaped and are now cooperating with local authorities).
Rudy Giuliani took the vast…
Our Evolution Challenge! Can You Spot All the Dinosaurs in This Photo? (Image by Author)
Shockingly, Donald Trump, (best known as the result of when vampires impregnate a can of Silly-String), has claimed, thus far;
Once again, trapped in a country gripped with disease and madness, a nation torn in half as hundreds of thousands of us fell dying into the chasm between us, I desperately needed wisdom and guidance. I needed… hope.
After a long and perilous journey that also involved me leaving my apartment, I stood, trepidatiously, upon Mount Horeb, by a burning Bush (Jeb).
The light changed and became alive. I heard the music of eternity. It sounded like The Beatles in 1966 if Brian Wilson was the fifth member. I stood bathed in awe and glory. …
Many are wondering how “Moscow” Mitch McConnell got all those bruises over his face, claws, and tail. Scientists were baffled because McConnell’s own species’ exoskeleton and neck-gestating sack were thought to be impervious. Impenatrable.
And yet, McConnell was seen all bruised during his recent press conference where McConnell spoke to the press while sitting on a branch in his terrarium and flicking his tongue in and out of the mist.
Obviously, this led to questions which I am here to answer.
I abhor violence. I don’t think it solves anything and I am a pacifist. The only time I resort…
When Bob Woodward recently released his spooky interview tapes featuring the dulcet-toned ravings of Donald J. Trump, we heard Donald bragging about the devastating deadliness of COVID-19,… before immediately going on to informing all his rich friends about it so that they can get their stocks in order, — as he continually mocked people wearing masks and called it ‘the flu’ and ‘a hoax’, so that all the rest of us can swap our safety and lives to protect the stock market. A one-two punch.
This, in and of itself, was pretty amazing.
For example and for historical reference; whenever…
Is a carbon based life form from Earth. Anyone who tells you he's not is absolutely lying. He's known for being dashing, heroic & humanity's last, best, hope.