Comic genius Rudy Giuliani continues to amaze and delight America with his whimsical brand of slapstick whimsy, (coming off his recent critically acclaimed role in “Borat” where Rudy touched his own Tutti Frutti on camera for a while).
Besides healing us all with his amazingly accurate portrayal of ‘a very disturbed man who desperately needs help’, Rudy also performed a string of performance art pieces (while also deftly avoiding garlic, crosses, wooden stakes, holy water, and mirrors). — Here’s a bullet-list of them, brought to us by the *NRA (*Their Motto: “Proudly Putting AR-15 Military Assault Rifles Into the Hands of the Severely Mentally Ill! Now, Send Us More Donations So We Can Buy Ourselves Even BIGGER Mansions! — Rubles Also Gladly Accepted!”)
AMAZING GUILIANI MOMENTS;
- The “Rudy Confusing the Iconic ‘The Four Seasons Hotel’ With the 4-Seasons Landscaping” Sketch. (This was conveniently located right by a sex shop, a taxidermist, a morgue, and a blood bank, to satisfy all of Rudy Giulian’s various needs). This one was a real knee slapper, sure, comedic GENIUS… but it pales in comparison to;
- The “Help Me I’m MELTING on LIVE TV!” Sketch. This is when Rudy consulted physicians on how to make his own brain pop like a zit and leak out of his ears, a skill he honed before appearing on TV to perform it. It was a magical evening. The silly mainstream media claimed it was “hair dye” (dripping from his un-dead head). Nonsense! HAD they been as diligent as this reporter, they would have known that Rudy can not see his own reflection in a mirror which invalidates the hair-dye theory. It was ichor. Dripping. From his skull. — FUN!
- AND THEN
Melissa Carone! (Rudy’s Star Search Finally Yields its Best Case Scenario!)