Legal Experts Agree, Matt Gaetz Could Legally Just Seek Out Young-Looking 18-Year-Old Runaway Girls to Sexually Exploit.
He’s a member of the House of Representatives. Isn’t that FUN!?!
Potato-head-shaped-madman and Congress… um… entity, Matt Gaetz, took time from his very busy schedule of scouting local Quinceañeras for young girls from broken homes to sexually exploit, to briefly consider his legal challenges going forward with what precious little brain power he has at his disposal before smoke gently wisps from his ears.
To refresh everyone’s sadder memories, Matt “Open-duh” Gaetz allegedly took underage girls, gave them a LOT of drugs and a little money, and had sex with them before bringing them across state lines to pimp them out to his rich, perverted, friends. Some may consider this kind of activity to be morally ambiguous (because they are insane). The rest of us normal folk think of it as soul-crushingly horrific, creepy, and unfathomably disgusting.
Now, I say Matt Gaetz “ALLEGEDLY” did this. Let me clarify. — Matt Gatez almost certainly, definitely, absolutely, positively, 99.9999999% did exactly this. If I had a trillion dollars, I’d bet $999,999,999,990 of it on this being true and use the other ten dollars to buy a whimsically-festive bag to put all my…
