Ron DeSantis Reveals EXCITING Plans to Put U.S. Scientists and Medical Professionals in Prison! — Isn’t That FUN!?!
Exploring the Madcap Zany Schemes of the U.S. Governor With the MOST Interesting Head-Shape!
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Here’s a FUN FACT! — Ron DeSantis, hero of bodybag manufacturers and people who scream at minorities — is ALSO a U.S. Governor… because… Florida. (Their Motto: Come for the FUN Maskless-ness, Stay for Your Funeral!).
Here’s how that happened. See, Florida made a drunken bet with some of the other… factually challenged and terrifyingly comedic states to see who can elect the goofiest and most destructive sociopaths to first strip them of any social programs they might have before eventually killing them all, like a Bond villain would, whilst basking in their adulation and saying “Bwa Ha Ha!”.
Full disclosure. I do not like Ron DeSantis. Because I’m a human. From Earth.
BUT — do you know who LOVES Ron DeSantis?
COVID! That’s who!
Oh, Ron DeSantis is COVID-19’s BFF best-est friend! DeSantis and COVID are like Jim & Pam from ‘The Office’, except disgusting and lethally dangerous.
Here’s a direct quote from COVID-19 that I procured during my interview with it, (reprinted below so that the aliens who eventually land here to see why we ceased to exist, can more easily piece things together).
Me: Hi COVID! “Thank you for taking the time out to talk to me, I know you’re super-busy! So, what’s the happiest you’ve ever been? Like, the best thing that ever happened to you?”
COVID-19: “You mean, besides the time Mr. Trump ignored me, and then hosted me at superspreader events, and then, actually GOT ME and kept me a secret while visiting military families and various crowded places on a wonderous and whimsical tour until he hilariously gave me to Chris Christie?
… Well, besides that, Ron DeSantis was just the best thing that ever happened to me. I love him and adore him. He completes me. He’s like my soulmate if he only had a soul”.
So, my dear cherished, adored, and beloved readers — Guess what the Fifth Horseman of the Apocalypse, Ron DeSantis, wants to do now!!
