Oh, my cherished and adored readers — “if there was no you, there’d be no me”, — in that I would’ve totally leapt off of something, or, in front of something, if I didn’t have you kindhearted people to keep me company through the most outlandishly goofy, terrifyingly comedic, unsettlingly surreal, I-Must-Be-Imagining-This-From-Inside-Of-An-Asylum-There’s-No-WAY-This-Is-Actually Happening — period in America during our lifetimes.
We’ve shared moments, you and I,… and made each other laugh through the darkness we travelled through together, which made it just a little less scary.
“A laugh can be a very powerful thing. Sometimes in life it’s the only weapon we have.” — (Roger Rabbit).
Truer words were never spoken. Maybe laughter helps us to tune out the static of idiocy, hatred and nonsense, just enough so it no longer distracts us from mailing/ calling/ marching/ VOTING,
as we MUST.
Here’s the thing… You know how eerie and compelling everything has been since November 2016? Well, we’re about to see a whole NEW Donald Trump, and it’s going to be — like nothing we’ve ever seen before. (…Again).
It’s going to get worse, and scarier, and its going to happen SOON. Here’s how.
There are THREE stages of Donald Trump.
See, that maniacal Trump we’ve come to know thus far — that’s Donald-Lite.
Think about when he first took office. New job, lots of excitement, all sorts of fame that he drinks the way Dracula drinks blood, all sorts of energy, all proud of himself, feeling all good, a couple of years younger, — AND HE SCARED THE LIVING F**K OUT OF 65% OF US!! — That was HAPPY TRUMP! That was as good as he gets! EEP!
Then, as time wore on… we saw him degenerate. Like, to the point where he had to be tested to recognize A HORSE. He’s already gotten his “GOP BWA HA HA Tax Cut”, which put an estimated 1.2 billion dollars into Trump’s own pocket, (YAY), but since then, there’s been a LOT of BAD stuff vexing Trump. Such as:
- staff fleeing,
- staff being indicted,
- staff fleeing, and THEN being indicted,
- former friends signing plea deals and singing: “He Com-mit-ted -Crimes Like Treason! Laundered Money, Trump’s the Reason!” (to the tune of Nirvana’s “Smells Like Teen Spirit”),
- porn stars popping up, that Trump’s lawyer Michael “Concussion” Cohen, for reasons unfathomable, gave vast sums of money to during Trump’s 2016 campaign,
- Trump’s entire cabinet in trouble for traveling more expensively than humanly theoretically possible, and spending taxpayer money on lavish opulence for themselves in every insane way they possibly can.
- More firings.
- Almost no one in the White House has security clearance. (Mostly due to being under investigation and violent spousal abuse).
- Normal people frowning about all this.
Trump’s world was getting more intense, to where he’s working 3 hours a day, and losing his mind and yelling at animate and inanimate objects 15 hours a day, maybe sleeping 2 hours, and Tweeting the other four.
So, we’re now at stage two: “FUSSY TRUMP” to where he’s even MORE childish, and very busy maniacally Tweeting stuff like: World War 3 / a nuclear holocaust to Kim Jong-Un. Or, starting trade wars on a whim.
Trump’s doing WEIRD,-GOOFY,-DANGEROUS-WITH-REPURCUSSIONS-STUFF-ON-A-DAILY-BASIS. He’s literally, seemingly unhinged to many of us who grew up here on Earth.
NOW, let’s subtract Hope Hicks, Trump’s 2nd surrogate daughter/wife, who would only read Trump positive things about him (tee hee) from FOX, and would calm him down and shield him.
Also, let’s subtract the trifecta that made up The McMaster / Kelly / Mattis White House Adult Day Care Center & Supervision For Lunacy Clinic.
John Kelly is in charge of keeping anyone away from Trump who’d “rile him up”, by “informing him of things”, that “most sane presidents would want to know about”. Kelly is the force-field around Trump that keeps him from doing even loonier, goofier stuff. He will probably be gone soon, due to laws of probability, and the law of averages.
H. R. McMaster WAS in charge of keeping us all from being exploded, on fire, along with the Earth, and now HE’S gone, because his military intellect, which allowed him to write critically acclaimed books, “was incompatible” with “Trump’s intellect”, famously described by McMaster as being that of: “a very young child, that fell into a bathtub full of PCP and then had to drink his way out”. McMaster was replaced with a man named John Bolton, who looks exactly like the evil-twin version of “Alfred Pennyworth” from the 60’s version Batman show, and who is, by all accounts, a RAVING LUNATIC MADMAN, whereas McMaster was sane. So, THAT’S bad.
Then there’s Mattis. He’s is the guy who attempts to keep Trump from impulsively bombing anyone, or maniacally stabbing anyone within his reach with a pair of scissors.
Here’s how TERRIFIED Washington and the Pentagon are now. — FUN FACT: “Mad Dog” Mattis* is involved in a scandal involving a LOT of money going to a “technology company” he was part of. Sadly, the “technology” they promised as “AMAZINGLY FUTURISTIC AND CUTTING EDGE” when bilking investors of millions of dollars, was actually closer to: three rocks duct-taped to a stick, a crudely drawn-in-crayon picture of a dog, and a broken Sony Walkman. (“The reels didn’t turn, but the red battery light still lit up”, the company later explained to their shocked, and openly weeping and sobbing, investors).
So, the point I’m trying to make here is — NO ONE — Not DEMOCRATS, REPUBLICANS, THE MEDIA, (or anyone who lives here and hates being on fire and exploding) is mentioning this, or making a big deal of it, BECAUSE THAT’S HOW MUCH WE STILL NEED MATTIS IN THE WHITE HOUSE TO STOP TRUMP’S (aforementioned) “FOUR-YEAR-OLD-ON-PCP-MENTALITY”, FROM LEADING US ALL TO OUR DEATHS. So, for all the FUN scandals floating around in a blizzard-like fashion, this here is the one “we’re all just gonna let slide, for the greater good of all”.
(*Mattis’ nickname- “Mad Dog” may have stemmed from him always being very, very angry at cats, and UPS drivers. I don’t know for sure, as I’d have to look it up, and I don't want to, but it FEELS right. He BARKS at them! He also barks at vacuum cleaners).
So, the entire team of people who were absolutely, positively, in charge of keeping Trump CALM, and SEMI-COHERENT, and not exploding the world in *a Tantrump© are all gone, or on their way out. (*my new word for a Trump tantrum)
Now let’s add. More indictments, new evidence, more pressure, sure. BUT, the thing that’s going to enrage Trump most:
Like most idiotic fads that somehow “catch on”, such as: people eating laundry detergent on purpose, — Trump’s chlamydia-coated “star” is fading. His act is getting old, his string of top-40 novelty hits: “Building a Wall”, “What about Hillary?”, “But… Obama” , “Witch Hunt! (the Theme Song From ‘No Collusion’)”, “The Sad, Sad, Tale Of Andrew McCabe. Sad!” and “The Perlosi Peppermint Twist” have all fallen off the charts.
And this, will absolutely drive Trump to all NEW heights of lunacy.
Many have a feeling that 2018 will be “a turning point” for the Republican Party (where they all “turn” back into Werewolves and leave us alone!)
AND the GOP, starting to see that Trump is the (befuddled, maniacal, incoherently-terrifyingly-dangerous-in-the-most-comedic-way-humanly-possible) albatross tied to their waddled necks, will soon start backing away from their current job of protecting and defending Trump 23.5 hours per day.
And here we are at stage three. SCARY Trump. (AKA SCARIER TRUMP). The Trump who’ll either re-enact the final scene from “Scarface” as the Feds come to haul him away, (screaming “Say Hello to My Little Friend” with his penis exposed) or, just be carried off by EMT workers so he can be fitted for a straightjacket, hopefully before he collapses the entire world in a fit of rage and psychosis to kill us all.
Written by Steven W. Rouach