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Unsuccessful Cocaine Dealer and Failed Comedian Tim Allen breaks silence & comedy!
Goodnight Funnyman
Ah, laughter.
Tim Allen has heard GALES of laughter, like that time he told a judge he was “not guilty” for dealing cocaine, and the judge fell off his bench laughing hysterically.
“Tee hee, you rapscallion!” (said the judge between giggles), “Now off to jail you go!”
THEN, Tim Allen got into standup comedy, where he was half successful, as he WAS able to physically stand up, per se, but the comedy part alluded him.
Then, Tim Allen had a horrible, unfunny, show in the 90’s that would have been vastly improved by the addition of a talking horse, and the subtraction of Tim Allen.
Then, Tim Allen was Buzz Lightyear, the only single thing Tim Allen didn’t suck at. He SUCKED as a drug dealer — as his mug-shots will confirm. He sucked hard as a comedian to where STRAWS would cross the street to avoid his path. He sucked on sitcoms… He was actually fine in Toy Story, and it literally hurt me to type that sentence. He’s good at acting like an alien toy who has little or no idea how earthlings live…
A mug-shot of “Geraldo Sevendees Pornstache” AKA/ Tim Allen, arrested for dealing cocaine.
And NOW, as the whole world held their baited breath to hear what Tim Allen had on his mind, he spoke out!
Yup.
Tim Allen said it’s unfair that Roseanne got fired FROM WORKING FOR DISNEY — just for tweeting racist things at a time when people are busy murdering other people over their races and religions.
No, he really did…
See, when Disney, who owns: Marvel, Star Wars, Pixar, Touchstone Pictures, the rock band KISS, you, me-Steven Rouach, ABC, ESPN, and the MUPPETS, found out Roseanne was busy tweeting heartwarming and whimsical messages of calling human black women apes, and disparaging holocaust survivors, they said “OH FUN!”.
Of course I kid. The powers that be at ABC and Disney accessed the situation for…
