A SPECIAL REPORT

Trump’s Pet Sentient Spider, Stephen Miller

Never Stare Directly At Stephen Miller! He Must Only Be Seen Through A Solar Eclipse Viewer.

“I hated him from moment one. The first time I ever held him, my immediate reflexive reaction was a very strong compulsion to hurl him out of the closest window, but I knew there would be legal repercussions. — I remember holding him towards to sky and crying out “Why GOD why?”, to which GOD responded “Sorry… You SEE, Garreth? THAT’S why we don’t misinterpret signs!”…

Miller’s mother* went on to tearfully say

Is a carbon based life form from Earth. Anyone who tells you he's not is absolutely lying. He's known for being dashing, heroic & humanity's last, best, hope.

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