The Floodgates of Matt “Flood” Gaetz & How My Cup Runneth Over. (The FULL Saga of Matt Gaetz).

Steven Rouach
6 min readApr 14, 2021

by Steven W. Rouach

“Can You Spot the 5 Things Wrong With This Picture? “-image by author.

Famed alcohol-taste-tester Matt Gaetz, like so many other Bond villains, is about to plummet right into the volcano he himself created.

FUN!!!!

Here’s a candid and un-doctored photo of me when I first learned Matt Gaetz is in -what legal experts are calling - SERIOUS TROUBLE.

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See how happy I was? Look at the glee emanating off me. It felt like if The Beatles, Chocolate, and Pot all had a baby together and then gave it to me to raise as my own.

Then… I heard the details of the allegations and the fun was over. Underage girls being brought across state lines for prostitution. Exploited. Filmed, according to reports. Oh, sometimes the world we live in makes me want to hurl the entire Earth right into the sun if only I could.

So, taking the counsel of Florida’s top legal experts who recklessly experiment with hallucinogens, Matt Gaetz went on America’s own #1 Source of Sexual Harassment Allegations, FOX ‘News’! — (Motto: We Put The “Air Quotes” on the Word “News”)

Matt spoke to a hybrid caucasian-ferret wearing a bowtie named Tucker Carlson. Gaetz then accused Carlson and Carlson’s wife of…

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Steven Rouach

Is a carbon based life form from Earth. Anyone who tells you he's not is absolutely lying. He's known for being dashing, heroic & humanity's last, best, hope.