Jared Kushner voted WORST criminal mastermind in the White House.
He just sucks at this…
When schemers and thieves commit a massive series of crimes, the really best ones never say, nor yell at the top of their lungs : “HELLO, I’M COMMITTING CRIMES, AND LEAVING TRAILS OF EVIDENCE THE WAY HANSEL AND GRETEL LEAVE TRAILS OF BREADCRUMBS! — PLEASE INFORM THE AUTHORITIES! — CRIMINAL HERE, DOING CRIMINAL STUFF! — TELL YOUR FRIENDS!!”
That’s what Jared “Ocean’s .0001” Kushner has been doing, over at the White House,… where… I guess he works?
So, let’s go back to very the beginning for a recap of the HILARIOUS, ZANY, ANTICS Kushner’s been up to thus far.
- Nepotism. — YAY!
- Trump Tower meeting* with Russian agents. — FUN!
- Suggests to Sergey Kislyak that they set up secret communications directly to Russia, without pesky United States people listening in. — SPOOKY!!
- Fills out his security clearance forms.
- Fills out his security forms ANOTHER 38 TIMES!! — I’m not even making this up. Jared “Formy” Kushner, has had to fill out new security forms a total of 39 TIMES!!! One less than 40. I hear he’s really honing in on it though, over the last two years or so. The important thing is: he’s trying.
- Loses security clearance… no one is sure why…
- Turns out Jared was meeting with various leaders of countries, and casually suggesting they lend him obscene amounts of money, and that it would be a fun activity. He would do this in the White House, where smart people used to live...
(There was some talk of a puppet show called: “Lend Jared Money And Good Things Will Happen” as a presentation, although those reports are unconfirmed). - Days after each meeting, Kushner gets loans for hundreds of millions of dollars from various foreign interests.
- Everyone finds out about this. Most people frown.
(*The Trump Tower meeting was allegedly to discuss a Trump Jr. chin implant by adopting some Russian orphans to use as harvested chin donors, and also, dropping sanctions in return for dirt on Hillary. FUN!!)
