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I Talked to GOD About Election 2020. My EXCLUSIVE Interview With Famous & Reclusive Deity.
Oh, Lordy…
Once again, trapped in a country gripped with disease and madness, a nation torn in half as hundreds of thousands of us fell dying into the chasm between us, I desperately needed wisdom and guidance. I needed… hope.
After a long and perilous journey that also involved me leaving my apartment, I stood, trepidatiously, upon Mount Horeb, by a burning Bush (Jeb).
The light changed and became alive. I heard the music of eternity. It sounded like The Beatles in 1966 if Brian Wilson was the fifth member. I stood bathed in awe and glory. And for the fourth time in my relatively short and illustrious career as a writer, I spoke to GOD.
Me: Hey there, Biggie-G! Can you believe what’s going on out there?
GOD: Out where my son? I kind of have a lot of oars in the water…
Me: Earth… America.
GOD: Wait,… you guys are still alive!?! Oh, I’m going to have some VERY serious discussions with my new intern, Kevin! Last I heard everything was on fire, everyone had plague, people were punching Rick Moranis in the head, hurricanes were lifting states onto whole other states, everyone was stabbing everyone, oh, and… the frogs… what day is today?
