ATTENTION ALL PARENTS:

I CAN’T BELIEVE I HAVE TO TELL PEOPLE NOT TO DO THIS!

Another example of how far we’ve fallen as a society.

In the words of the great George Takei, “OH, MY!”.

There’s a growing internet trend where the most confused among us now throw cheese at the faces of their own babies.

I can’t believe I just typed that sentence, and yet here we are.

SO, ATTENTION ALL PARENTS: Throwing cheese at your baby’s head is a REALLY BAD IDEA.

I can’t stress this enough. The fact that this even exists… is almost as strange as me having to explain why you shouldn’t do it.

See, your baby / small child trusts you. Your job, your most IMPORTANT job, is keeping your own offspring safe from any maniac trying to toss things at his or her head.

Also included in your job description is: “Not raising your small child to become a complete psychopath who’ll murder us all when it grows up, due to very poor parenting and judgment” — which means you should NOT hurl various dairy products at your child’s skull in order to ‘amuse’ some strangers on social media and horrify other, clear-thinking, non-psychotic, strangers on the internet, such as myself, and everyone sane I’ve ever met or heard about.

So, while some of you may think ‘this is a harmless prank that won’t bother your kid in any way’, know that you’re wrong, insane, and a…