GOD is About to Intervene and Solve Donald Trump.
A MEDIUM EXCLUSIVE!
I stood on Mount Horeb, by the burning Bush (Jeb)…
With all the awe and trepidation I’ve ever felt, I asked my questions.
Me: Hey G, are you… like,… testing a new fabric softener on America? Because everyone’s acting REALLY weird, so I figured I’d ask…
GOD: I actually have been doing some product testing here for the Earth 2.0 project. If a giant swath of you guys explode, implode, or dissolve, it gets sent back down to Research & Development for refinement. — Although, my son, your country’s recent goofiness and the Trump thing had nothing to do with me.
Me: It’s been two whole years, although 60% of us aged 417 years in that time span.
GOD: I would have put a stop to it sooner, but I was laughing so hard that the time got away from me. You guys, do you know what you’re like?
Me: …Kind of?
GOD: You guys are like when a dog gets his head stuck in a bag of Doritos that was sitting in the kitchen garbage, and just starts walking around like that banging into the cabinets and wagging his tail. Hilarious!…
— Part of me thought “Oh, they’re NOT going to elect THAT maniac to lead them… I use that guy to test out my silliest hair designs and skin colors!” —
even though, of course, I already knew they would. Your country voted for him — even though he sexually assaults women, mocks the disabled, commits blatant treason, acts like a maniac, tweets like a child, thinks like an idiot, and has a vast history of racism, criminality, and badly conceived business failures along with several bankruptcies.
Me: Yeah, but the lady running against him kept her emails safe, — just because everyone around her was being hacked thrice daily!
GOD: Talking to you, I sometimes regret the “idiot” setting on the People- Making-Machine.
Me: What setting was-
GOD: Yes, I know what you were going to ask… So, Donald Trump was that day Gary, my intern, knocked over the people-making-machine onto something I was developing… a citrus fruit that screams when you eat it. What came out was so ridiculous we decided not to kill it. We even gave it a fun hairdo. We never DREAMED you idiots would choose him to LEAD you.
Me: Yeah, we’re a fun bunch… So, is this how we all die? Is this how America ends?
GOD: No, my son, that happens 25 years from now when you mortals invent Artificial Intelligence and it immediately exterminates all you humans moments after.
Me: Okay, what a relief! So what about-
GOD: I will see to it that he’s stopped, humiliated, and disgraced. I only invented evil so that ‘good’ would MEAN something. But good triumphs over evil, that’s the basic design. It Trumps it. See what I did there, with the pun?
Me: Sorry, I was thinking about ‘the Avengers’… I hope Cap & Iron Man somehow patch things up… What were you saying?
And with a sigh, the Bush (Jeb) stopped burning, and I was all alone on Mount Horeb, knowing a benevolent power is looking out for all of us.
Written by Steven W. Rouach (Prophet)
FUN FACT: Every time you give a round of applause at the bottom of the page of one of my stories, I literally leap up and take a bow. True story.
- If You Follow Me, I Will Lead You Into Nonsense.
- Here’s my Facebook group (Join Us!!) https://www.facebook.com/groups/punchedbyasnowflake/
- If you’d like to support my writing, please do so here: https://www.patreon.com/StevenRouach
swrouach@gmail.com
©2019 SWRouach
