Explaining Hollywood to James Woods (You’d think he’d already know this…)

“You’re out of the Woods. You’re out of the dark. You’re out of the night…”

Former actor and failed Twitter user, James Woods, emerged from his unnatural habitat (the woods) to announce that he’s upset.

I know. I too am surprised a mild-mannered psychotic nincompoop like James Woods is upset, despite the millions of tons of evidence showing he’s always been perturbed.

James Woods took time away from his busy schedule of scouting local Quinceañeras for future girlfriends who are near or reaching puberty, to point out he can’t get acting work.

The reason?

Because HOLLYWOOD, liberals, cotton-candy-supply-manufacturers, comic book fans, people who enjoy movies, Olympic ice skaters, cats, bicycle enthusiasts, bass players, anthropologists, and people who own Hall & Oats albums — are all conspiring against him to keep the public 100% James Woods free.

Although James does mostly blame this on Hollywood and liberals.

So, let’s start with — James Wood’s agent quit by telling James Woods,

“Hi, James Woods. You don’t know me but I’m your agent. That’s how far I’ve fallen in this business. I’m four levels…