Ah, Chris Collins…
He was a GOP NY Representative for the House. His job was REPRESENTING NEW YORK. Looking out for NY interests. (Tee hee).
SO, when Trump & the GOP came up with their GIANT tax gift — giving 1/6th of the entire US economy to the richest 700 families — it meant disastrous economic results for California, and also, you guessed it — NY.
All studies show this lovely GOP gift to billionaires will devastate NY’s economy.
So, OF COURSE Chris Collins voted for it anyway, because he’s a REPUBLICAN. Party first! F**K the United States, F**K NY and my own constituents! — Oh isn’t it NICE to have representation? Someone fighting against our own interests for the mega-rich. And luckily for billionaires, Chris Collins filled that need.
Then something WONDERFUL happened!
People wearing somber expressions put Chris Collins in handcuffs and gave him a private, guided, tour of the NY court system.
See, Chris Collins, besides being a complete bastard who stabbed everyone who voted for him right in the crotch, ALSO enjoys doing illegal things like insider trading.
SO, the Department of Justice said “Hey, anyone want to grab some ice cream and arrest “Peter” Chris Collins?”, and many hands went up, so DOJ agents bought some delicious ice cream and THEN arrested Collins, smartly realizing if they finished their ice cream FIRST, it wouldn’t melt.
Collins “cheated our markets and our justice system.” — said US Attorney Geoffrey Berman. Berman also stated Collins “placed his family and friends above the public good,”
SO TO RECAP:
A guy, who voted for something on BEHALF of his home state that elected him — THAT has HORRIBLE CONSEQUENCES for his home state — but voted for it anyway because it will help his mega-rich GOP friends and their families, AGAIN put his mega-rich GOP friends and family above the public good…
I sense… A PATTERN.
Chris Collins, his idiot son, and a bunch of their friends are accused of multiple counts of securities fraud, as well as one count of wire fraud, one count of conspiracy to commit wire fraud and one count each of making false statements. — FUN!
The Republican representative from upstate New York, who voted enthusiastically to severely HURT NY. was:
One of Trump’s earliest backers in Congress!
(Cymbal crash, rim-shot)
That’s right, Collins was Dotard J. Treasonface’s cheerleader. Because Collins is multi-faceted. He enjoys destroying NY AND America!
Here’s the thing.
The GOP had it swell. No one was looking into their stuff. Same with the NRA. Same with Trump.
Trump has made war with all law enforcement, the DOJ, the FBI, CIA, NSA, and many other acronyms.
This means… well, if you’re a GOP member, and you’ve done something shady or illegal… look at the huge disparity in Paul Manafort’s past and present attire. He went from wearing ostrich suits which cost as much as Costa Rica does, to a jaunty orange prison outfit which cost $7.25 dollars.
I have a feeling Trump and a LOT of his friends in the GOP Vampire Glee Club (because they’re filled with GLEE), will become a part of this new orange jump-suit fashion craze that’s soon to sweep the members of the GOP.
That’s okay though, there are many federal prison cells that need to be filled — so we can house them there, where they’ll be far more properly suited than they would ever be in the House Of Representatives.
Written by Steven W. Rouach