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BARRED, Six Things Barr Will Release From the Mueller Report
Satiate our curiosity.
So, by now you’ve heard about Robert Mueller releasing his report so that William Barr and Donald Trump can read it together, nestled on a cozy couch, and acting out all the different parts in funny voices.
Ah, friendship…
Also, due to very diligent research and using the observational skills inherent to the best of journalists, it has come to my attention that William Barr has the mole on his forehead edited out in his publicity photos. (See: Main Photo, Above). If you search Google for William Barr photos, all his staged photos are retouched, so that he can look pretty for us.
So, sexy, un-moled, William Barr and noted narcissistic lunatic Donald Trump and his team of lawyers, are pretty much the only Americans with access to this report. For reference, China, Russia, North Korea, and all other intelligence agencies also know what’s in the report due to Mr. Trump’s absolute refusal to not use unsecured cell phones.
However, it has come to my attention that there are indeed some aspects of the Mueller report that Barr WILL release to us, the 55% of the American people who visibly shake since 2016.
Here is that list, which hopefully, will clarify the burning questions and…
